Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize