I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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