Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
