whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
