drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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