Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
