im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize