who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
