Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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