I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
