you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
