So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
