OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
There r osticjed everywhere
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
