I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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