he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You left your underwear on the fireplace
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I can't turn off my feet"
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize