Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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