Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
