i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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