I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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