Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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