she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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