hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
