Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
