Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
