my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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