yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
