A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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