Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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