I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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