you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
