The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
