your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
