Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Randomize
