Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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