I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
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