he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
