Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
