so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
