Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
