fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
