she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize