Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
