his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
