if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
