2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
