matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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