no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
