marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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