i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
