Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
