everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
