I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
