My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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