im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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