Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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