Christians are straight up FREAKS
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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