i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
