Please, let me fuck your mom
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
love makes seman taste better
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
