Screwed.edu
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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