found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
