how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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